Relationships Matter
My interest in computers grew out of gaming. By constantly fixing, upgrading, and maintaining my gaming rig, I learned quite a bit about computers in general — enough that I decided to make it my job, which after enough time and varying positions turned into a career. One of the universal truths I picked up along the way: relationships matter more than almost anything else.
Whenever you start a new position, your first goal should be building trust with everyone around you — peers, manager, other teams, anyone you work with. Without trust, you can’t be effective regardless of how technically skilled you are. Trust is the currency of being a great professional.
Trust Matters
Trust is built slowly and lost fast. It requires reliability — doing what you say you’ll do, when you said you’d do it. It requires making people feel good about working with you and confident they can depend on you in a pinch. The longer the relationship, the deeper the trust — but that depth can be erased quickly by a single broken commitment or a moment of dishonesty.
When you’re in meetings, on the phone, or just hanging out with coworkers, remember that the things you do and say matter, as well as the things you don’t do or don’t say. Silence when someone needs clarity, inaction when someone needed follow-through — those count too.
What Builds Trust
A few specific behaviors that consistently move the needle:
- Follow through — If you say you’ll look into something, look into it. If you can’t, say so before the deadline, not after.
- Be transparent — When something goes wrong, say so early. Nobody trusts someone who hides problems until they blow up.
- Own your mistakes — “I made an error, here’s what happened, here’s how I’m fixing it” builds more trust than deflecting or minimizing ever will.
- Protect people’s time — Don’t waste it with unnecessary meetings, half-baked asks, or noise. Respect for others’ time signals that you take the relationship seriously.
What Destroys Trust
Equally important: know what tears it down.
- Taking credit for someone else’s work
- Throwing teammates under the bus to protect yourself
- Saying one thing in private and another in public
- Overpromising and underdelivering, repeatedly
Any of these can undo months of relationship-building in a single meeting.
How to Rebuild It
Trust can be rebuilt after an incident, but it takes time and consistency. Apologize once, clearly, without over-explaining. Then just be reliable for an extended period — there’s no shortcut. People remember how you behave after things go wrong more than they remember the incident itself.
Key Takeaways
- Technical skill gets you hired; trust is what makes you effective.
- Trust is built through consistent follow-through and honesty, not through being likeable.
- It’s easy to lose and slow to rebuild — treat it accordingly.
- Remember that what you don’t do and don’t say can damage trust just as much as what you do.